Some unedited thoughts about grief. My grief. Putting it here so I'll continue to work on it.
I’ve been trying to write about grief and about losing my mother. The words we choose are so strange. Losing. I didn’t LOSE her the way you lose a cardigan when you are too drunk to remember to take it off the back of your chair when you leave the bar. I was there. I saw her go. I know that she is gone. GONE. Another one. Is she GONE? I don’t know. She could be sitting right next to me, but her physical self is no longer here. I can’t hold her hand. I can hope for one more quick smile. When you comfort me… don't say RELIEF… as in IT MUCH BE SUCH A RELIEF. don't say BETTER PLACE. don't say I MEAN AFTER ALL YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH... It robs me of my loss and of my grief. You are trying to make yourself feel better maybe by trying to imagine that her death doesn't hurt as much as you think it might. Your desire to ...
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