A Missing Book- Found Friends

 Here's a link to an essay I am working on.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Some unedited thoughts about grief. My grief. Putting it here so I'll continue to work on it.

  I’ve been trying to write about grief and about losing my mother.       The words we choose are so strange.  Losing.  I didn’t LOSE her the way you lose a cardigan when you are too drunk to remember to take it off the back of your chair when you leave the bar.  I was there.  I saw her go.  I know that she is gone.  GONE.  Another one.  Is she GONE?  I don’t know. She could be sitting right next to me, but her physical self is no longer here. I can’t hold her hand.  I can hope for one more quick smile.        When you comfort me… don't say RELIEF… as in IT MUCH BE SUCH A RELIEF.  don't say BETTER PLACE. don't say I MEAN AFTER ALL YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH... It robs me of my loss and of my grief. You are trying to make yourself feel better maybe by trying to imagine that her death doesn't hurt as much as you think it might. Your desire to ...
Read more

This is the Year that...

Image
This is the year that my mom dies. I mean, most likely. I’m not hurrying it along but I am aware that it is, realistically, a thing that will occur.  It is early January of 2022.  She entered hospice care in November of 2021 meaning the medical community thinks that she has less than six months to live. That’s why they let you into hospice.  For me hospice means that she has a few extra pairs of eyes on her with the mandate of keeping her comfortable.  And it means that I can start thinking about her death in a very real and concrete way.    I want to trust the hospice nurses when they tell me that she isn’t in pain and even though I’ve asked them to come on board for their professional opinion, I find I have a hard time believing them.  I think it is because I personally am in pain a lot of the time right now.  I’m 51. My hips hurt and my back hurts and sometimes my knees hurt and when I’m in pain, I am not always wi...
Read more
 April 29, 2020  I’m claiming Julia on HBO Maxx for myself: it was apparently made just for me.   Oh sure, you can watch it if you like, but ask yourself: did you work for WGBH as a freshly scrubbed college grad in the early 80s? Did Avis DeVoto share space in your office (a trailer far away from the main studio even though the Auction raised 11% of the station’s operating budget)? Did you also go to women’s college? And shared a love of cooking from an early age?    Okay, fine. You will love the show as I do even if you haven’t ticked any of those boxes. Why? Because it is magical.   It is important.   It’s entertaining and lovely and thought provoking. It initially sets you wondering: how much of this is true? But after a while, you don’t care – you want to be under it’s/her spell. At first glance you might think, oh boy, another take on Julia Child - just what I need .   But it’s more than that – it’s the story about the early struggles of p...
Read more